Is anybody buying what these characters are selling?

For the Week of May 8, 2023
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Last week was all about smoldering attraction, pretense, and bold initiatives. Sheila set out to con Jack into falling for her again. Katie tried to convince Bill (and herself) that she hadn't gone to see him just to listen to him beg. Chef Daniele let Deacon think he could someday out-pizza the master. Hope actually thinks no one can see that she's got the pants-melting hots for Thomas. Plus, was the Count conning Deacon, or was Deacon conning the Count? Let's scoop!

Do you remember the time?

I'm a sucker for a man in a beard or goatee, so I swooned over Jack. I melted under his prison whisper-rasp as he told Sheila to pound license plates after she tried to entice him into remembering the time they'd fallen in love. As she pressed him with details, I sang, "Do you remember, Jack? In the closet, you and me! Getting it on, no Li! Do you remember, boy? Whoo!"

While we're on the topic of remembering, I could have sworn Jack said he'd talked Sheila into signing baby Finn over to Jack because she was unstable, and she'd known she couldn't raise a baby. Is the story now that Sheila and Jack were in love? And can someone tell me when Jack became this big-shot defense attorney in Los Angeles and why Sheila wasn't calling him the last time she got arrested? Plus, why did he and Li fly to L.A. for Finn's wedding if they already worked in the city? Is PCH traffic really that bad?

Instead of enticing Jack to remember how to steam up a medical supply closet, Sheila should have been trying to convince him that taking her on as a client could be the pinnacle of his career. Jack could become more famous than Johnny Cochran. Their defense slogan goes like this: "Can't find the exact killer bee? You must set Sheila free."

Was Jack serious when he rejected Sheila, or will he be back? If Sheila fails with Jack, she could try R.J. the influencer. He could start a groundswell of shifting public opinion and make a name for himself, maybe get a docu-series about Sheila on a streaming channel like Making a Murderer. R.J. would make a name for himself producing Buzz Killer for NetFlix, and Ridge can get off the young man's case about working at Forrester.

Why don't you hand him a pipe and a sailor's cap, Ridge?

Ridge wants his namesake to follow in his footsteps. He was convincing while urging his son to take the pencil and discover something about himself. I enjoyed Ridge romanticizing about the first time he'd designed a gown. It reminded me of what the show was about and the magic of the very first episodes of the show. I fondly remembered Ridge and Eric working closely together, but I got annoyed when Ridge kept insisting that Eric had passed them all the gift.

Unless Eric did it through some type of vampire blood-letting ritual, then no. Eric did not pass them the gift. He could have taught them a trade, but he didn't pass any gifts hereditarily, and it's not in R.J.'s blood -- unless, of course, designing was somehow a Douglas gene and a Forrester gene. That would mean that Stephanie's kids got it from her, and Eric's offspring got it from him. Someone help me remember: was Stephanie designing at Jackie M?

Ridge is shortsighted about what family genes might be predominant in his son. Maybe Ridge should ask R.J. if he likes the smell of seagulls by the shore or if R.J. enjoys barnacles blistering on his butt during a hot summer's sail. R.J. also has big muscles. Does he like spinach?

If R.J. isn't the next Popeye Marone, maybe Ridge should hand him an apron and see if he can make a lavishly catered meal like his grandma Beth. If Ridge really wants to put R.J.'s talents to use, he could send R.J. to Katie's department in promotions. Lord knows she's going to need a lot of help at the office now that the love triangle of her dreams has finally kicked off.

Katie clarifies why she went to lunch with Bill?

Bill invited Katie to lunch at his house, since she was "too busy" for dinner the previous night. Why was she too busy? Because she was in Carter's bed, asking him how sex was with Quinn. If Katie wanted to know how sex with Quinn was, Katie could have asked the walls or the rug downstairs. Then Katie could ask the sheets how it was doing Paris. Maybe the mirrors know how it was with Zoe. In other words, Carter slept with several women in that bed and loft, and Katie should have left there itching, not in love.

The absurdity that Carter and Katie are in love couldn't have been more salient than when Carter was getting reassurance from Eric about Katie and Bill. Carter had some nerve to confide in Eric about being the man between Bill and Katie when Carter had just been the other man in Eric's marriage. We met "The Count" last week, and his name caused me to decide to call Carter "The Middler," because he is always in the middle of someone else's love story.

Carter was in the middle with Rick and Maya. He was in the middle with Paris and Zende. He was in the middle of Eric and Quinn's marriage. Heck, Carter gets in the middle so much that he became the middleman in his own love story, disrupting his wedding to Paris. Now he is in the middle of Bill and Katie, who've been attempting reconciliation since pre-COVID.

Who believes Katie is really in love with Carter? Not me. Not Bill. And probably not Katie, either. She just wants to see Bill squirm. She said it herself: Bill doesn't want her unless he can't have her. That's not true, but that's what she thinks. I say it's not true because he let her have an affair with his son in peace, which makes the ick factor on Wyatt advising Bill off the charts. Because she thinks Bill wants competition, she inserted Carter into the equation.

I think this because when she was in bed with Carter, Katie told him that she didn't know what Bill wanted to talk about at lunch. She said he might want to talk about Will. Carter insisted she knew that wasn't true, and Carter proceeded to tell her what Bill would talk about. She went to Bill's house, anyway. After she'd gotten high off Bill's begging, she told Bill that she needed to clarify why she was there. She said it was to tell him she thought he was a hero. Baloney.

The main reason I think Katie is leading Carter on just to rile Bill is that Katie invoked Brooke's name in her conversation with Bill, and she claimed the difference between the men was that Carter hadn't fallen for Brooke. Bill wanted to leave Brooke out of it, but Katie plowed on, saying things would have been "so different" if Bill had left Brooke out of it.

Katie then proceeded to urge Bill to go to the single Brooke. "You want her. You know you do," Katie insisted. I hope Bill knows this trick from a mile away because every time Katie wants to test him, she throws Brooke in his face. If he doesn't take the bait, she shoves Brooke in his lap. When he fails to resist, Katie blames him. She sounded desperate and jealous telling him to go to Brooke and then clarifying that she'd only shown up to express gratitude for what he'd done with Sheila, "but anything else..." Really, Katie? Because you've told him that six times already and kissed him for it.

What do you think? Is Katie in love with Carter or using him to get to Bill?

Did the con man con the con man?

Il Giardino has been more like the set of a sitcom these days with all the guest stars parading through. It was all fun, even if it strained credulity that Deacon thought he could out-pizza Chef Daniele Uditi, the pizza Houdini. If Chef Daniele is the prior owner of the place, I suggest that Deacon leave the menu alone. It's probably as perfect as those beautiful napkins Deacon has at the tables. Did you see the one Wyatt was holding?

Instead of his impossible search for a better pizza, Deacon should brush up on his skills at recognizing a con man in action. Count Boucie, Sommelier to the Stars, was a fake, and the first clue to it was his starving grandchild. There's no way a man of that caliber would walk around with a hungry child. By the way, did anyone catch that the boy's name was Orville? As in Redenbacher? As in popcorn, emphasis on corn?

Then again, maybe Deacon was onto the con man and helped him out by feeding Orville California corn, French fries, and Italian pizza, all props Orville used to help Count pass Deacon's blind taste test of three wines. It also helped that Deacon put place cards by the wines with the answers to the test facing Orville. Was Deacon that dumb, or, recognizing something within Count that reminded Deacon of himself, was Deacon trying to help Count get hired?

Steffy, the Terminator

Steffy sprang into action like the Terminator to stop something in the present that could lead to huge trouble in the future. Sure, it was merely touching, gazing, and pregnant silence now, but Steffy knows those looks from Hope well enough to predict that they can lead straight into a triangle affair. Steffy also knows that any triangle involving Hope and Liam means heartbreak for the third wheel, usually Steffy. That's why, when she saw doe-eyed Hope blinking at Thomas, Steffy demanded to know if Hope had feelings for her brother.

Some say it's unrealistic that Hope has feelings for Thomas. From what I gather, Hope is attracted to the genuine change within Thomas. He even wore a Mr. Rogers sweater one day, guys. Thomas seems shaken by his encounter with Hope. He had just told Steffy that he wouldn't bite if Hope came onto him. Thomas' resolve is about to be put to the test. Will the writers flip the script from Thomas and Steffy setting out to ruin Hope and Liam to the duo actually working together to save Hope and Liam's marriage? Or will Thomas hop at the chance to have Hope?

In a look ahead: Hope gets frazzled with Thomas in San Francisco

Next week, Hope and Thomas take a business trip to San Francisco. Isn't that where Ridge and Quinn's attraction started? Liam is livid about the trip, and I wonder what idiot at Forrester decided that Hope and Thomas should go and go alone. Of course, Liam can't invite himself on the trip because his untrustworthy wife would feel distrusted. Hope and Thomas become stranded in the city. Will it be "Berry Island" (but in the city) all over again?

Thanks for getting the Two Scoops from me this week! I'd love to read what you think about the week's antics in the comments section below! Until we scoop again, stay bold and beautiful, baby!

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